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Unlike Andrew, Paula was initially positive about beginning single life again: 'I read all these books and articles which tell you not to stay in a bad relationship, that life isn't a dress rehearsal.Although I envisaged probably spending the rest of my life on my own, I felt that any relationship that I might have, had to be better than the one I had before. 'You go out with a guy and play all these bloody games - will he phone, won't he phone?If Paula continues to insist on an older man she may look in vain.According to the 1991 census, there were 390,000 unattached women aged 40 to 44 in Britain and only 228,000 men between 45 and 49 (in part because there were fewer births during the war).It has happened two or three times in my life and I don't see why it shouldn't happen again.' Paula Carter, a PA to a senior manager with a life assurance company, is 40, and split up with her husband last year after 15 years of marriage because of what she describes as a 'mutual, irretrievable breakdown'.

Men seem less able to cope with single life and tend to move more quickly into a new relationship.The older they are, the bigger the age gap they are looking for.' It seems such a cliche: men looking for casual relationships, for youth and beauty; women seeking maturity and companionship. But as I was talking to single men and women in their thirties and forties, again and again I heard from the men the sense of optimism and excitement at the prospect of a rich new social life, of the opportunity to have children after their careers have been established or start a second family in their forties.Talking to women, the conversations were soon circling around pain, fear of loneliness, panic as the child-bearing years slip by, outrage at being treated as a down-valued commodity on the marriage market, and a sense of betrayal at a sexual revolution which seemed to guarantee orgasms but not the partners with which to have them.The older women get, the less are their chances of remarrying.As long as Andrew continues to look for women younger than himself, he will find plenty of potential partners, for there are more available women in their twenties, than there are unattached men in their thirties.




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