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But spend time with the man they call the “Mr Big” of publishing — he is both my friend and agent — and you learn he is not above passion projects.

He may sell Eric Clapton’s memoirs for a reported £2.6 million one day and have his client John Banville win the Booker Prize the next, but he also likes quirky endeavours such as the The Obvious Diet, which he wrote in 2001 after shedding 40lb from his 6ft 4in frame.

She was debauched, though, a big boozer who smoked three packs a day.

And on every occasion that we met — except when I arranged for her to meet [Simon & Schuster executive] Dick Snyder — she wore velour tracksuits. The meeting with Snyder was a very big deal and she transformed herself into a movie star in this wonderful black dress and high heels, showing off the legs she was still proud of. “She had hired a lighting man to make sure she looked her best and a butler to serve Cristal champagne.

Her body said it all, and I got the message, loud and clear. I don’t want to ever hear the phrase “moist in interesting places” from anyone that isn’t describing a steak.

Her auburn locks, her deep green eyes, her long lashes, the tip of her nose, her pouty lips, her graceful throat, the curve of her shoulders, her tiny waste, and, yes, the nicest knockers I have ever seen. And I soon found out that she was as oversexed as I was, warm, passionate, soft, and moist in interesting places. Also, I understand there’s a temptation to take artistic license recounting one’s own sexual history, but that little humblebrag is fooling no one. [Judy] always idolized her own charming father—only to learn, after she’d grown up, that he was a homosexual. And then, she had an even harder time accepting a trace of that in herself.

“And the lascivious nature of her life contributed to that sex goddess perception.” Yet on the night of their first meeting 26 years ago, instead of the Barefoot Contessa, in walked “a prematurely old woman”, the left side of her face “frozen in a rictus of sadness”.

So she tried to lose herself in a never-never land where reality faded and her dreams drifted, just out of reach. But the absolute nadir of tawdry is his account of Ava Gardner—do not read further unless you are prepared to have your idea of a lovable old Hollywood icon sullied beyond repair.And I sucked those warm breasts, I did taste her mother’s milk. “It’s a very tender memory for me,” smiles the 73-year-old Bronx-born literary agent.or his maniacally enthusiastic chemistry with Judy Garland in Babes in Arms (Hey gang, let’s put on a show!), his work left an indelible mark on my childhood.




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