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to do) if you're going through—or just contemplating—a divorce.Here, real women share what they wish they'd known when they split from their husbands and divorce professionals weigh in on how to combat the most unexpected, yet most common, mistakes they've seen clients make.Try to have money available—like ,000—within days. "It not only 'showed him;' it also showed the wife—and their children—what life is like on a lower salary," she says.Simplybadmouthing your ex is likely to hurt your kids more than your husband, even if you don't think they hear or read what you say.

Also, inform your child's teacher of the new situation, but don't automatically put your kid in therapy.Specifically, "learn all of the online passwords to bank accounts, which accounts had automatic payments and where money is invested, including the names of all accounts, the account numbers and the investment advisors," says Newman.Ask your attorney when and how it's best to gather this info first, though.4. Your financial well-being should be your top priority, says divorce financial expert and mediator Rosemary Frank."Anything written online about an ex-spouse will exist forever—when the children are old enough to read," cautions Newman.7.Being divorced doesn't mean you're a failure, less competent or less desirable.

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I have to wish another important contributor to this team, Bobby Wood a speedy recovery after recent surgery.

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