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The next week, I hosted a board game night and invited her so she could meet some of my friends.Over the course of our time together, we talked about plenty of our romantic and sexual preferences, but neither of us pressed for anything physical.Despite the romantic promise of most dating sites, the likelihood of discovering that your internet date is truly compatible with you across all major dimensions of compatibility is quite low.According to PEW research, as of last year, only 11% of US adults have used online dating sites, and of those, only 23% have actually entered into a relationship with someone they met there.It’s why wing[wo]men are so amazing to have around.It’s why people are far more likely to connect with you on dating apps when you have friends in common. We need to remember that friendship is never a means to an end.Using these insights, we both began introducing each other to awesome people within our respective friend groups, and have been doing so for years.

After going on over 150 dates, trying out over 100 dating websites, and advising hundreds of individuals at all levels of dating experience, one thing consistently stands out to me: .

Genuine friendships drive human happiness, and when we want the best for the people we meet and strive to help them excel in the things they value, we are deepening our capacity for quality friendships.

The most influential line I ever read about cultivating friendships & relationships actually came from a nondescript Geocities page that I stumbled across in 2003.

Using dating sites to find love is inefficient and prone to failure.

We typically set the stakes too high, and centuries worth of societal tropes and expectations can cripple the authenticity of our interactions.

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