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I have your book but was wondering what would be the best way to get out of this cycle and get right with God?

” A: First of all, I’m thankful that this couple is concerned about it.

All I want, to use an old-fashioned term, is a girlfriend.

Somebody I can take out to dinner on Wednesday, a picnic on Saturday, and talk to or text during the week. Getting dates isn’t the problem, it’s converting just one to girlfriend status that has been the challenge.

I get an enormous volume of contacts but these fifty year olds are like herding cats on caffeine. One second they’re super interested and then a day later it’s “hmmm, well, I’m not sure, yes, no, maybe, catch me if you can”.

We know we are in the wrong and that God’s teaching tells us to be pure and wait till we are married.

They’re not married, don’t know if they’ll ever get married, and are just enjoying each other’s bodies.

Most people who live together before they get married don’t get married and those who do have a higher divorce rate. You’ve already agreed that this is not the biblical pattern and thus is not a healthy pattern. What you’re demonstrating, by the fact that you say, “I want to do this but we always fall back into the same pattern again” is the strong bonding nature of sexual relationships. Sex was designed to be a deep bonding experience between a husband and wife.

They’ll text me non-stop for an entire weekend, totally disappear, and then email me ten days later.“Rules Girl” tactics are common: don’t return phone calls or texts for 48 hours, don’t pick up the phone for scheduled phone dates, etc. The disappearing, the game-playing, the crazy expectations, the mixed messages? It protected me from ever giving any man of quality a chance to see me or touch my soul. He told us that he loves women, “if only they weren’t so complicated.” And he graciously gave me permission to publish his email because he wants to help women understand more about how men feel, what they want and don’t want.

(This is another “Bobbi’s right”, fifty-year-old guys hate that type of stuff.) A woman who will initiate a few ‘how’s your day going? His frustration and his feelings of helplessness and inadequacy? When I knocked down that wall, and learned some new things, my heart opened and my love came into my life. He wants to help us all make better human connections!




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