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Being the person I was, I started to try to tone down my personality.

I’d ask my date a lot of questions about his life, so that I wasn’t talking about my job or my studio apartment all that much.

A few weeks ago, I posted a survey to my Twitter, asking my followers what they wanted to see in this column.

(It’s still live, so you can feel free to add in your two cents!

If I disagreed with him on anything, I’d avoid even a friendly debate, and smile tightly and change the subject.

I tried to make myself appear smaller so I wouldn’t overshadow the man I was out with. A string of egocentric assholes who wanted to me small so that they felt bigger.

The answers I found were actually super enraging — especially on one particular Reddit post I’d stumbled across.

Some answered, “If she’s better looking than me,” while others brought up words like “smarter,” “stronger,” “funnier,” and “outspoken.” Women who made more money than their male counterparts, or had a better job or seemed more successful in general, were also penalized.

I was on the point of saying this, but Schomberg's stare was intimidating.

There are other allusions to this intimidating insect in this book.

I said this to myself, resolutely, by way of answer to the intimidating storm.

) I got a whole slew of responses, but versions of the same question kept popping up over and over again: I myself have been called intimidating a lot throughout my life.

It all started with my father who, trying his hardest to console a weepy teenager who didn’t have a date to prom, told me that it wasn’t my fault that men didn’t want to date me. He totally meant it as a compliment — he’d raised a strong, outspoken young woman, and he knew it — so I tried to take it as such.




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When used positively, and particularly when used as a preference or description by someone else, it is intended to imply a male who puts the needs of others before his own, avoids confrontations, does favors, gives emotional support, tries to stay out of trouble, and generally acts nicely towards others.


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