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Being a nice guy is probably the worst thing to be when it comes to online dating.You are a little more than collateral damage, as the large majority of guys slather, drool and stomp their way through the crowds, scaring off most of the nice girls that arrive on these sites, as evidenced by the interview above.Personally, I think there is so much more to be gained from talking with someone face to face – you are able to read their body language and listen to intonation in their voice, which are much better indicators than online messages or profiles. You’re much more likely to get past the initial message if you can get a girl to first start talking to you based on interests.

To explore this topic, I pulled aside two individuals who I knew were hunting for a long-term relationship using online dating websites, and asked them about their experiences with the services.

In hindsight, I suppose if I had stayed active with it for a little longer MAYBE I would have encountered a “nice” guy.

I have to mention that I did get maybe a message or two from guys that seemed okay, but once I checked out their profiles, it didn’t seem like we had anything in common so I didn’t bother.

By the time of this interview, she had already given up and moved on, finally discovering her future husband while visiting old friends at her alma mater. Ryan (RD): What year did you sign up with an online dating website and how long did you keep your account? RD: What were the majority of messages that you received from guys like? I got some commenting on my picture telling me how “hot” I was…how “good” I looked.

Anonymous Woman (AW): I can’t remember the exact year I signed up… Actually, now that I think about it, that was how most of the messages I got started.




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You could pretend to be a grown-up, because you were at a computer and not surrounded by lockers and classrooms. But when you’re an adolescent, talking is a way to flirt and flirting is a way to figure out who you are. Did you identify more closely with the lyrics of Dashboard Confessional or the writings of F. “Having the Internet as a catalyst for learning how to interact with your peers was invaluable, and it was also pretty innocent,” says Caroline Moss, a co-author of the upcoming “Hey Ladies!


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