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One reason for the disconnect is that parents think of dates as actual physical events—going to the movies, for example, or a dance. They socialize online in a way that is invisible to adults, says Jenna Saul, M.

D., a child and adolescent psychiatrist in Marshfield, Wisconsin.

This reassures your child that it's okay to be interested in getting to know someone better.

Spelling out the parameters in advance also lessens the possibility of conflict later on.

Experts say parents can't do much to protect kids from the bumps and bruises of first crushes beyond keeping the lines of communication open and offering comfort.

That's no simple task—kids seem to leapfrog from sweet curiosity about the opposite gender to demanding to know when they're allowed to date to holding hands, kissing and more.

How did I get from there to dropping off my own daughter at the doorstep of romance?

And was there a way to make those girl-meets-boy dramas any less heart crushing?

It's true that much of tween romance seems to unfold over chat, says Jessica Gottlieb of Los Angeles, whose 14-year-old daughter appears to have been bitten by the love bug overnight."Biologically, it's what their bodies are telling them to do—they're in the early stages of puberty.And socially, it's when they learn to negotiate relationships." But there's some good news for mom and dad: Tweens still want to talk to their parents."Of course, the message may be different for each family based on their culture and dynamic," says Fran Harding, director of the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services center, which tracks teen behavior."The important thing is that the policies be very clear, consistent and enforced." Kids should know exactly where parents stand when it comes to their digital lives, as well as actual dating.




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