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When I asked him to refrain from using the phrase “black as sh**”, Richard replied that he did not mean it that way. I said “I love you” and reminded him that he was the most beautiful boy in his childhood.

Although I was 14 when he was born, people would sometimes ask if I was his mother when I babysat him. The pride of being perceived as the mother of such an adorable boy outweighed the stigma of teenage pregnancy.

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But I’m confident that at some point, he will wrestle with my words. I firmly believe that we all are spiritual beings having human experiences.The lack of appreciation of blackness and the desire to escape blackness through inter-marriage, as depicted in the famous painting Redencao de Cam, is one of the lingering psychological effects of slavery, colonization and white domination on people of African descent.For those reasons, I take issue with the race-based self-loathing that sometimes fuels interracial dating.If such lunacy could infect my nephew, then the rest of the black boys that I loved were not safe from such white supremacist indoctrination. I lay awake in my bed, surrounded by black manhood. Sadly, the words of controversial Egyptian-Sudanese-American novelist Kola Boof, during her twitter fight with Nigerian-American rapper, Wale, echoed in my mind. The next day, a Saturday, I called Richard’s mom at a.m.My three year-old son was sucking his thumb with one hand and tugging at my sisterlocks with the other. I told her that I was deeply disturbed by certain comments that Richard had made. She said “it takes a village” and handed the phone to Richard.

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