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Making spreadsheets and crunching compatibility scores and creating fake profiles to meticulously study market behavior is hardly just letting the algorithm do its thing, you know?But Amy doesn’t reframe her approach to draw the same conclusion that I do, which is that less data-y and more human behaviors are what usually leads you to online dating success.The devil really is in the details; referencing specifics paints an emotional picture for the reader; it humanizes you; it makes strangers want to get to know you better.This “don’t use specifics” element was the part of Amy’s presentation I found the most surprising and with which I most strongly disagree.

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I agree wholeheartedly; however, that doesn’t mean you can rely on a tag cloud of positive terms like she showed.

(That makes for a good slideshow, but not a good profile!

) You’ve got to find non-clichéd ways to sound optimistic, funny, and charming in order to stand out; this is especially true for all guys and for older women.

She recently gave a TED Talk on the same subject, which is pretty darn entertaining.

But of course, being an online dating coach with lots of experience and strong opinions, I have to pick apart her approach and warn you away from the aspects I think might harm you more than they help you. I appreciate that Amy likens online dating to the traditional Schadchen, or Jewish matchmaker.




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In the developed world, and particularly in the United States, men change jobs regularly and few take the time to become deeply involved in the civic and religious life of their communities which is how most men met their wives and girlfriends for millennia.


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