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Although sex may be more common than love at university, there’s still a peculiar form of romance on campus.

In between sleeping together and becoming an official couple lies a gulf of misunderstanding, emotions and varying degrees of intimacy.

Messy social circles are the backdrop to romance at university, and as students live at each others’ houses and spend their many hours of free time in groups, some relationships inevitably become closer than others.

“I had secret relationships and friendships which were really cute.

Watching the university dating scene from the outside, Jo says that many of her friends pretend to be less emotionally attached than they really felt.

“When lots of people do sleep with and fall for their friends, then in order to maintain that delicate eco system you have to put on a front because you can’t be crying all over the place and you can’t be splitting up social groups,” she says.

Just when you think you’ve learnt the laws of dating, they go and change every last rule in the book.

Teenagers today have grown up in a culture where television sitcoms dissect the “third date rule” and pop songs talk of true love.

All the sex and none of the restrictions of a relationship certainly works well for some students and the liberation of no rules can help teenagers discover what they really want in a partner.“I think we had our first date six months after our relationship started,” she says.“We went to a Thai restaurant and it was really nice but we could have just stayed in and watched a film.” For most of her time at university, Jo didn’t take part in the casual stream of hook-ups and casual sex, but she would still chat with her flatmates about the latest development around the kitchen table.She says he “freaked out” once he realised that Rachel might want a relationship, not just a sexual partner and sent her a text saying, “I love you as a friend but I just want to call this off”.But because they were never in a formal relationship, Rachel says she couldn’t admit that she was hurt.




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“They think it makes them look popular.” But Nelson thinks group photos are a bad move on your dating profile and will put people off: “For example, people might fancy the person's friends more or not like the look of their friends at all, thinking that perhaps they wouldn't fit well with their lifestyle.” She points to research which claims that when men in particular are pictured with the opposite sex, this can create negative feelings and jealousy amongst the women checking out their profiles.


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